


Noodle's McDoodles - SFW Edition

by mcnuggies



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Drabble, F/F, Gen, M/M, One Shot, did it for the meme, nothings supposed to be canon lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-23
Updated: 2017-03-23
Packaged: 2018-10-09 15:16:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10415049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcnuggies/pseuds/mcnuggies
Summary: welcome to Whose Meme is It, Anyway? where the prompts are made up and the contents don't matter!





	1. Taco Tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's the best day of the month at Dorado Intl High School, but one senior decides to take it into her hands to change the status quo forever...(meant to be extremely dank and cheesy, preferably in that order)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "lucio, dva, tracer, and sombra being dorks" request by my friend  
> i love all the high school au comics on tumblr so inspiration was drawn from those 
> 
> unedited (originally intended to post on discord)

D.Va, Sombra, Tracer, and Lucio hang out

*Brrrrrrng!*

Oh, that illustrious ring carried through the halls of Dorado International High School, sending a third of the students running, the rest dragging their feet. That third worshipped the bell, because it reminded them every day, that Fate™ had chosen them that year. 

*First lunch.*

Not only was it a special time of the day, it was a magical day, a day that came once a month. Attendance was higher on the second tuesday of every month compared to all the other days, Principal Estebán Alejandro Guillermo Lucas Juan de la Rosa de la Iglesia gladly pointed out each time. 

*It was Taco Tuesday.*

Those who were granted first lunch were blessed with the cream of the crop food, freshest, hottest, best, and even if it wasn't Taco Tuesday, the stampede to the lunch lines was like a bunch of starving elephants were granted access to an all-you-can-eat Hay Rave. 

The first in line was none other than Lúcio, the most popular junior, perhaps student in school. Top athlete, drum major of the band, and all around nice guy, this guy couldn't kill a fly if he was paid to, but being first in line didn't require any killing. His Heelys glided him right to the front of the line, and not a single person protested. 

“Aw, c’mon! I really thought I could beat you this time!” Seconds behind him was Lúcio’s best friend, Lena. A junior and fastest track runner in the state, the girl was just as charismatic and positive as her best friend. Pretending to sulk, she wagged her finger at him. “You were aided by external support! This is a matter of pride and glory!”

“Aw, c’mon, Len, I always have my wheels on.” He laughed. 

“I’m not talkin’ about that, you goose!” She poked his cheek and let her finger slowly sink in the ploosh. “Our German teacher let you stand by the door!”

“I was simply helping Mr. Reinhardt clean the white boards. His hands are too big to do the job properly!”

“Rubbish!”

They laughed and joked around as they moved into the assembly line and students formed behind them. 

Fortunately for Dorado High School, their cafeteria had two lunch lines. In the second line, freshman Hana bounced around as she Snapchatted her frontline victory, having skipped the last class to hide in the bathroom and watch the finale of an esports tournament, as well as to get in line first. 

“Haha! Fiiirst!” She stuck out her tongue and winked at the video. 

“-Been here all along.” A shadow said at an unfitting loud volume, causing Hana to whip around, sighing in relief. It was just her friend, self-titled as Sombra. Sombra was a senior, some say she had been so since Mr. Morrison and Sr. Reyes disappeared a few years back and was laying low as a high school student. She never went to class, was always ordered detention for attempting to hack into the school's database and change students’ grades for money, or making every day Taco Tuesday. Much speculation was made as to why Principal Estebán hadn't expelled her yet. 

“Hiya!” Hana stuffed her phone in her pink overalls, stepping back so the senior could be first in line. “What've you been doing today?”

Sombra laughed softly while staring the lunch lady down until she received an extra taco. “Just a little research, kid. Things have been boring around here lately, thought I could find something to spice up everyone's day.”

“Ooh! Tell me!” Hana gasped, leaning far too into Sombra’s personal space. “Is it about a teacher? Oooh! Please tell me it's my history teacher, Mr. McCree! Everyone thinks he's been trying to get into Mr. Shimada’s pants~ Y’know; the gym teacher!”

“Don’t flap that nonsense around.” Sombra replied in hush tones. “It's not that Shimada, it's the other one.”

“Other one?”

“Yeah, that sophomore geometry teacher. Never leaves his classroom. They're already a thing.”

“Sooo scandalous! I gotta tweet this-” She stopped the line and took out her phone. “Wait, what am I doing? Tell me what you were looking for today!”

They scanned their school cards and went to a table, sitting on the opposite end of Lúcio and Lena, already swarmed by the cool band kids and chill athletes. “Heh.”

“Why are we sitting here today?”

“Shh!” Sombra leaned in. “I thought we would all like to know a little secret our Wonder Boy’s been hiding.” She whispered. 

“A-aa!” An excited squeak came out of the freshman. She was good friends with Lúcio and Lena, but her true best friend was Drama. “What'd you find?”

“Oh, you'll see.” Sombra looked around and waiting for the perfect opportunity. “It's just a little nugget from his past he may not want anyone to know~” She held a half-eaten taco daintily in her hand and made her way over to the other end of the table, Hana pulling out her phone, ready to record. 

“Soooo, what's her name?”

“Like I’m tellin’ you! You just wanna facebook stalk her!”

“Pleeeeease?” Lúcio batted his luscious lashes at Lena, who puffed her cheeks. 

“E-Emily. She goes to the private school in town.” 

“HOO, YEAH! I called it! She's the ginger cheerleader, I knew she wasn't just admiring your flute and mmmhrmmfrmm!” His mouth was shut by her hand, only to fly away when her palm was licked. Everyone laughed and laughed until one by one, they noticed the newcomer to the group. 

Lúcio was the last to notice, his laughter dying slowly but the smile never left. “Hi, Sombra! Lookin’ to join us?”

“Sure, friend.” She sat on the edge of the bench right beside him, eyes glistening with happiness. “Say, man, we haven't had a heart-to-heart in, well, ever.”

“Say, you're right! We should hang out sometime!”

“Cool, how about now?” She wrapped an arm around his shoulder and took a *crunch* out of her taco. She enjoyed the sweat drop forming on his temple. “Tell me all about your life, *amigo*! Your childhood hopes and dreams, your- y’know, let's stick with that.”

“W-well, I always wanted to be a pro hockey player! O-or a DJ! Or-”

“Or, or, or, or-” She laughed and everyone looked around, knowing how a typical Sombra Encounter™ went. “How about when you were, say, 10, specifically?”

*”How did you find out.”* He whispered in horror. 

“Schools keep medical records and copies of birth certificates.” She whispered in his ear, fingertip booping his nose. 

“Please, I-I’ll do anything! I-I’ll give you my tacos for the rest of the school year.”

“That won't be necessary.” Her tone purred with the excitement of the kill. “Everyday can be taco day if you know everything about everything, and everyone~”

“What's she talkin’ about?” Lena asked, trying to take Hana’s phone away as she livestreamed this. 

“I don't even know anymore.” He whimpered. 

“Hah, now everyone's curious, how exciting~” Sombra sat up and gestured everyone, then Hana’s phone. “Pray tell, dear Lúcio, what your parents let you do for your tenth birthday?”

Lúcio hid his face in his hands and cried out. “Okay, it’s true! You know it already, so I’ll tell everyone…*My parents let me change my middle name to Beyoncé for my birthday.”*

There was dead silence at the table, save for the inhuman cackling of Hana.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooo so dramatic  
> i've named all of the payloads, esteban is dorado's name
> 
> submit your drabble requests at  
> http://noodledragon.tumblr.com


	2. ASPCA commercials are torture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "lucio watches an aspca commercial"  
> y'all know this would totally happen

‘In the arms of the angel-’

Hana was spending the evening at Lúcio’s, making his grandmother’s famous brigadeiros in preparation for a small community event where the two cultural celebrities would be taking pictures and giving autographs for charity. They had the TV going in the background, but they had tuned it out. That is, until those first six sad, sad words. 

Lúcio paused, fighting every urge to turn to face the TV, but failing. The laughter on his lips had long died as he stared into the eyes of a caged beagle. 

“Lu?” Hana leaned over the counter to see what was going on. “O-oh, no-”

‘Fly away with me-’

The first tear rolled down his cheek, but seeing a bandaged pup lay helplessly on a vet’s table unleashed the waterworks. 

Hana facepalmed and pat Lúcio’s back as he cried harder at a homeless white kitten. “We’ve talked about this-”

“I-it’s just...so...sad-” He blubbered. “They all need good homes! Who will take care of them?” He blinked and stood a little taller, fighting the tears with determination. 

Hana turned back to the bowl and shrugged. “I mean, those particular animals are okay! They’re being filmed by the ASP-” She heard a door shut to turned around to see she was alone. 

“...Lu?”

 

_____________________

 

The next day, Tracer made it to the venue early to be interviewed by a local reporter and was surprised when Hana came in alone, looking salty. 

“Hiya, Hana!” She blinked over to her the moment the interview was finished. “You look great!”

“Thanks.” She was deadpan as she crossed her arms. 

“Where's Lúcio? Tryna be fashionably late?” She tried to lighten the Korean star up, prodding her jokingly with an elbow. 

Before Hana could reply, a chorus of awws drew attention to the front entrance as Lúcio proudly strolled in with over a dozen dogs and cats in tow. “Everyone! I'd like you to meet all my new friends!” He proclaimed as cameras started to click and cameras began to roll. “This is Stuffing, and Oprah, and Pupper 76, and-” 

Hana went to sit by the punch bar and browse her phone, sulking because she knew she would have to take care of securing good homes for all of them. 

After a few minutes, Lúcio approached her with a tentative smile. “I-I thought you'd like a friend-” He picked up a little white Pomeranian, groomed to look like a poofball. “I named her Warrior Bunny Princess, after you. Will you-”

“You're forgiven!” She sobbed before taking the very circular doge, letting her lick her face. “She's perfect!”

“You're not mad anymore?” He asked, eyes shining with all the hope in the world. 

“I was never mad, I was just- idk.” She let out a laugh. “I mean, this is becoming like a bad habit or something, I should send you to Doggos Anonymous! This is already the second time you've done this this month.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let the dankness consume you!
> 
> Submit your requests (anons accepted!) at http://noodledragon.tumblr.com


End file.
